Am I a "Real" Man?

Some rambling about a thought process i have had as of late.

My friend Joe Kuykendall and i were talking just the other day about how he and i are the kind of people who, generally, wear our feelings/emotions/thoughts/etc... on our sleeves. I mean, i am not the kind of guy to just tell strangers my life story and all of that but if you are a friend then if you ask me how i am doing i wont give you the cheesy "im fine" answer, honest answer is what you get. People usually know when i am upset or if i am happy, im not good at faking things really.

I have thought about this since Joe and i discussed it and have had up and down feelings about it. I ask myself, "should i be so open with everything?" Of course, openness is a good thing but i know some people who dont particularly enjoy people's openness. I also think of what i am been taught about "being a man" and know that, stereotypically, i am suppose to be strong and rarely show emotions and always be in control.

I also look at scripture and see how we are suppose to live life in community. The only way to be a community is live life together and to know about each others lives and the only way to do that is to be open with one another.

Thus, i become conflicted on if i should be open or not. On one hand i feel that if i am open then i wont have secrets and i dont have to worry about all the junk that goes with that. And, on the other hand i could leave myself to vulnerable (and "real" men are not suppose to be vulnerable).

But the conclusion i have come to is this; Love (in all forms not just dating or marriage relationships) is being vulnerable and you can not truly love God and your neighbor if you are not vulnerable. That is the beauty of it all, allowing God to take your vulnerability and make it into a beautiful glorifying "thing".

So, i choose to remain open and vulnerable, trusting in God that He will remain faithful and keep me from being crushed in my vulnerability.